I Can't Feel My Body
Meg, you talk about how your body drives you crazy and how it doesn't listen to your mind, I think the problem might be dyspraxia. Two key sensory systems, your proprioceptive sense, which makes you aware of your body parts and your vestibular sense, which helps you to know where your body is in space are not working properly. So... you can plan what you want to do until the cows come home, but coordinating and executing that action is always going to be more difficult for you because your body senses are not in touch with your brain.
A good way to test this is to cover your eyes and try to touch your nose. Do you want to try this? (Meaghan becomes extremely anxious and will not let me cover her eyes.) Why don't you want me to cover your eyes Meg?
Because I can't see, and if I can't see then I don't know where my arm is in space.
I always wondered why it was so difficult for you to isolate your finger to point. Now I think that it was because it is difficult for you to feel your fingers. Is that true?
Yes.
I wondered why you couldn't make yourself smile, other than to say "cheese." Is it because you cannot feel your mouth?
Yes.
Is this lack of sensation why you chew on things?
Yes. I chew to feel my lips.
Do you lack sensation in all parts of your body, Meg, or just some?
All parts.
Could that explain why you like to be rubbed and why you itch yourself so much?
Yes. In part, I am scratching because I can't feel my body.
I am going to hand you a squeeze ball. Do you like the sensation when you squeeze it?
Yes.
Would you like to hold it in your left hand while you type?
Yes.
What about if I massage the fingers of your right hand individually like this. Do you feel it?
Yes.
Do you like it? Do you think it will help you when you type?
Yes.
I now have Meg trace a swirly line on a board with her finger. She has some difficulty keeping her finger on the line and gets frustrated. I can see this is uncomfortable for you Meaghan. Why is that?
Because it requires me to use my vision as well as my motor skills.
Meg, you keep repeating the words "go home." Why are you doing that?
Because I want to live at home.
Oh, Meg. We would love to have you home, but we would not be able to provide you with all the activities that you get to participate in at NuPath. You would probably be bored here. But we love you and will always have you home on the weekends.
I want to talk about how your lack of sensation might be impacting your ability to communicate. We know that you have completely intact cognition, it's your output ability that is screwed up because of the lack for sensation feedback your brain is getting from your body.
Basically, it is hard to talk if you can't feel your mouth muscles and it's hard to grasp and hold and pencil and write small letters if you can't feel your hand and finger muscles. But, once you figure out how to isolate a finger it is possible to point and type. And when your finger hits a keyboard key you FEEL it, don't you Meg. You actually get feedback from your body, so YOU can feel in control.
Yes. I like typing because I pour my heart into what I need to say and I am not flapping my mouth in perpetual imbecilic motion.
What is the difference between trying to communicate by talking and communicating by typing?
Typing makes it possible to communicate on a much more real level.
